"Can My Marriage Survive Infidelity?"
Unfortunately, in today's fast-paced world, far too many married couples are forced to answer that question.
Many married couples start their marriage with every intention of being faithful to their mate for a lifetime, but circumstances and fate changes things. There is no doubt that the most important thing in a marriage, as in any other relationship, is honesty and real understanding.
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In a marriage that we all desire to have, faithfulness is vital. It implies a commitment that's total and complete. You seek the closest intimacy possible from no one else, so complete is the love you receive. Nothing could be more reassuring and more meaningful. But a relationship that intense, comes with a price tag.
And infidelity in a relationship based on such love can be devastating. Nothing can fix that first fine careless indiscretion. Trust is ruptured forever. It's a betrayal that leaves you feeling painfully hurt and inadequate. You question yourself about everything in your relationship. What could I have done differently?
You look back through time and realize that you never thought an affair would be something you would have to deal with in your marriage. When you've been married 20-plus years, the first lesson you learn is that marriage is a relationship which, like human beings themselves, is constantly changing and evolving. It's an equation where the variables change the answers constantly. People sometimes lead married lives together despite the unfaithfulness between them. Children, autumn love, companionship allow such relationships to survive.
But at the end of the day, it's really what you want from your marriage and partner. You can survive infidelity; deep down we are all survivors and we find a way to survive everything. If you have a marriage in trouble because of infidelity, but you want to avoid divorce, you should know that you have great options for saving the relationship. When a wife or husband is unfaithful, counseling can often help sort things out.
Most importantly, to avoid divorce, start communicating. Unless you talk, you can never work things out. Keep in mind that good communication does not mean yelling, it means talking as adults. Therefore, take time so the two of you can sit down face-to-face to discuss the current situation, regardless of the problem. If anger is too high, the services of a professional marriage counselor can help. Just remind yourself that it takes time but with dedication and determination, divorce can be avoided and the marriage can be restored.