You can save your marriage from divorce despite the reality that divorce statistics have been steadily rising in recent years.
We know now that all marriages have between a 40 and 50 percent chance of ending in divorce which is why it's more important than ever to have the necessary skills to ensure your relationship is secure against the threat of divorce.
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There are some basic steps you can take to actually build a strong, stable marriage and avoid divorce. Here are some key steps you can take to save your marriage:
Remember, a solid marriage is one in which you never stop putting in effort to make it better and more relevant to both partners.
Good marriages are made. They don't just fall from heaven or off the pages of a romance novel. Unfortunately, many couples still believe that everything will be just fine after the wedding. Well, the wedding may have been absolutely lovely but the hard work of the marriage comes right after the ceremony and it doesn't end until death do you part.
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When the prospect of years together crops up, you just can't slack off. Nope, it's not a matter of stressing yourself trying to please your spouse daily. It's a mutual commitment to be 'spouse-focused', to communicate, spend time together, plan and set goals as a couple, lay down guidelines and sticking to them, lay down guidelines and knowing when to change them, dealing with kids and other significant relationships and so on.
You can never forget the need to keep up the romance, passion and intimacy in your marriage, even if some days, you both are not in sync. A couple who has put in the effort to develop lasting intimacy have an almost 6th sense about the others needs and desires. That is effort that has a huge payoff for couple who are trying to save your marriage.
Commitment is the key to saving your marriage and helping you find that Soul Mate relationship you desire. Marriage is a commitment from day one that never ends. We did not say happiness was one of the key factors in making a successful marriage. It's not even purely love. You see, happiness comes and goes and takes many forms. Love grows, wanes, develops and is a given in a marriage relationship.
Commitment, though, is something to invest in, to muster, to understand, to renew from time to time. This is the one constant through the happy and sad times, through the passionate and loving times. Commitment makes people want to stay, makes them feel they ought to stay, and they have to stay.
What many couples don't realize is that commitment is a decision. It's an act of choice within one mature individual that translates to how this person will be present for another. It is not a whim nor an extra. It is the true foundation of any relationship.
The power lies with you. I always say that mature individuals make mature, lasting marriages. What people fail to realize is that, in anything, even a love relationship and more so in a love relationship you can take responsibility and choose your actions. When the going gets tough, you have the choice to either react to the situation you're in in a positive way or to be swept away by a tide of negative emotion that can lead you down a path of depression and possible destructive behaviors. A happy, fulfilling relationship begins with you.
This means that you also have a lot of self-work to do. Work out your issues, mature, learn to love yourself. These are all part of growing up and growing into a successful marriage. Even when your partner has issues of his or her own or struggles under the pressure of their job or personal crisis, you can be the rock in the relationship if you are self-confident.
What we have outlined here are some basic foundations you must have to save your marriage and avoid divorce. There are many little details that we will help you to explore with your spouse as you build a successful marriage.
Check out this Free Save Your Marriage Webinar by Dr. Dana Fillmore, an internationally recognized Marriage & Family expert, Clinical Psychologist and author of “Happily Ever After: How To Be Happily Married To The One You Already Married.”